Reflections of Her.

Life poured out of her like water as she lost hope.
Drowning in her own tears.
Fighting to get to the surface,
she panicked – thinking she forgot how to swim.
So she dug herself a grave wondering
how she could let this happen?
In complete disregard that she made it to shore.
She dug deeper and deeper.
Searching for the connection to her soul.

Where had her confidence gone?
Some believe she never lost it,
even as her misery increased.
She felt abandoned, eyes left bloodshot red.

Fear that she was losing control.
In crisis, left temporarily insane.
But things never really fall apart,
they just simply change.

She came to a turning point.
Realizing that everything is always exactly how it should be.
Changing the narrative to create the life she always wanted.

Thinking of how she wanted to feel and deciding to go after that.
She went back to the only life she once knew.
Working to become familiar with feelings of good again,
those she desperately knew she deserved.

Reading and writing became her survival aids.
Keeping her mind clear,
Helping her find healthy ways to release the pain.

Self-reflection without blame.
Compassion and understanding not fear or gain.
Unable to choose replay so she chose to rewrite instead.
Striving to protect her peace.

Not validated by anyone’s expectations.
She would choose to live a life of her own,
because you cannot heal what you don’t reveal.

- Monique Janean

Monique HowardComment