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I left two jobs within the past two years without having a real plan. Waking up late every day, eating in bed and drinking wine became part of my new routine and somehow, I still found time to spend money I didn’t really have.                                     

I had no idea what I was going to do as far as getting a new job and literally woke up one day asking myself, “so you did all that for what? You’re back in the same situation. What aren’t you learning?”

It took some time but I realized that I needed to become more ambitious about my own well being rather than playing it safe just because I could expect a consistent paycheck every two weeks.

By definition to be broke means having completely run out of money and while I had never actually gotten down to my last penny I was quick to say, “I’m broke.” I used this as my excuse to not go places or do certain things instead of being honest about my situation and the sacrifices I wanted to make.  In times when I did say yes, I’d often worry about the money I spent well after the fact. So much so, I started to believe money was the main reason for my brokenness and irrational behavior.

It seemed as if life had become a reflection of my scattered pieces. My responsibilities over here, my emotions over there – or at least that’s the way it felt. I fought my hardest to keep everything pretty on the outside, while the fear of running out of money continuously ran through my mind.

By definition broken means, given up all hope; despairing, with nothing in working order. So there I was, trying to make peace with all my broken pieces. Believing that without money my situation couldn’t be fixed and that I couldn’t pursue my dreams because I didn’t have whole lot of money to get started.

“Growing pains are the bittersweet luxury of adulthood.” – Horacio Jones

While, some days life may feel like an uphill battle having faith and trusting that it will keep you afloat goes a long way.

As a society we can be so preoccupied with things that don’t really matter.  Often times we don’t realize that we already have everything we need.

The things I once thought I had to have, I really didn’t.

I wanted to start claiming things that could ultimately guide me towards more financial freedom. You know – speaking things into existence. Maybe if I speak of money in abundance and believe it comes easily and frequently I’d never have a reason to say, “No, I’m broke.”

If you wait for ‘perfection’ you will never get anything done. We are meant to meet the challenges of the world as abundant minded people knowing that whatever you have in this very moment is more than enough.

Once you give yourself permission to explore all of your hearts desires, you will see how little becomes much and you can appreciate the small things more. In our true authentic identities is where we will find peace. So let people think that you’re about to make the most dreadful mistake ever because they don’t see or understand your vision. Be ok with that because it’s called ‘your’ intuition for a reason. Follow it.

Trust that you don’t have to explain yourself.  Other people do not have to approve of your motives for your life choices to be valid. And so, even with concerns from my family, friends and coworkers I knew that I had to make best decisions for myself. Even if you feel broke or actually may be trust that it will come back to you multiplied 10 times over if you speak life into your situation and take time to invest in yourself.

Don’t chase the money, let it follow you.

Monique HowardComment