5 YEARS LATER.

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I am a checklist type of person who also likes to go with the flow.
It’s confusing I know but let’s just blame it on me being a Gemini.

However, I’ve found that there is beauty in embracing uncertainty and if you know who walks beside you, you never have to worry about being alone as the story unfolds.

 I recently came across the first blog I started in 2012 and was amazed that the content was similar to where I am now. What shocks me the most is that even though I said I would probably never try it again, here I am. Five years later and I am proud to say that I am starting over.

At that time I wasn’t brave enough to stick with it. Unable to recognize my true value, I was not prepared to hold myself accountable. I hadn’t experienced enough to speak on the level in which I wish to speak now. I had to go through more things in order to grow and I have no regrets.

I also had to ask myself: Why are you afraid?

Is it the fear of doubt and worry from others that concerns you?

Is it the fear of loss?
The thought of having to give up what I love or find comfort in.

Is it the fear of hardship?
That things will be too hard and I don’t have the necessary skills I need in order to succeed?

Whatever the case may be, suffering in silence is no longer an option for me and I refuse to surrender to these crippling thoughts.

My constant prayer is to eliminate the distracted character within me wanting nothing but convenience and ease because it will never be more powerful than growth and freedom.

With firm determination, I have decided to take control of my life and create beliefs and habits that will make my life more joyous, loving and remarkable. I want to reach the highest levels of happiness, with full energy, productivity and influence in my life. I must realize that choosing peace or silence in some of life’s challenging situations is strength and not a weakness.

I write because …

This is my source of survival and my intentions are to serve.

I was given this life for a reason and I am strong enough to live it. With this belief I must trust that things will come out well. Choosing between fear or faith because there isn’t enough room for both to occupy space in my life. I will not be afraid to live again or shine because victory is my right. I will also be patient on this journey and embrace the power in rediscovering myself.

I thank you for being here.

“Fear is the elusive thing that disguises itself as protection, silencing and locking our best parts away, trying to conceal the very things we need to explore. Until we see through it and discover how much we are holding back from ourselves, we cannot see how much we are holding back from the world.”
– GG Renee

Monique HowardComment